President Obama opened the door to prosecuting the Bush administration for the torture of terror suspects. This would be hard to stop once it started. If Dick Cheney wants to appear on “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here,” he’d better hurry.
Capt. Richard Phillips got offers from Hollywood studios for the film rights to his hostage story. How much he gets depends on his past. If he’s led an upright life, he could get millions. If he has skeletons in his closet, the sky’s the limit.
The Labor Department said unemployment in Los Angeles hit 12 percents. It’s having an impact. The post office will lose a fortune on Mother’s Day when 50 percent of the cards are delivered by people just walking upstairs from the basement.
The White House released old memos authorizing terrorists to be tortured with insects. It worked. The worst part is we didn’t have to invade Afghanistan and Iraq, it turns out we could have defeated al-Qaida with a really scary Terminix commercial.