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Humor: ‘I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here’

President Obama opened the door to prosecuting the Bush administration for the torture of terror suspects. This would be hard to stop once it started. If Dick Cheney wants to appear on “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here,” he’d better hurry.

Capt. Richard Phillips got offers from Hollywood studios for the film rights to his hostage story. How much he gets depends on his past. If he’s led an upright life, he could get millions. If he has skeletons in his closet, the sky’s the limit.

The Labor Department said unemployment in Los Angeles hit 12 percents. It’s having an impact. The post office will lose a fortune on Mother’s Day when 50 percent of the cards are delivered by people just walking upstairs from the basement.

The White House released old memos authorizing terrorists to be tortured with insects. It worked. The worst part is we didn’t have to invade Afghanistan and Iraq, it turns out we could have defeated al-Qaida with a really scary Terminix commercial.

Citizen Online Archive, 2006-2009

This archive contains all the stories that appeared on the Tucson Citizen's website from mid-2006 to June 1, 2009.

In 2010, a power surge fried a server that contained all of videos linked to dozens of stories in this archive. Also, a server that contained all of the databases for dozens of stories was accidentally erased, so all of those links are broken as well. However, all of the text and photos that accompanied some stories have been preserved.

For all of the stories that were archived by the Tucson Citizen newspaper's library in a digital archive between 1993 and 2009, go to Morgue Part 2

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