Workaholics Anonymous was reported Friday to be the most popular new recovery program in America. They use a toll-free hot line. When you get the urge to put in an eight-hour day, you call them up and they send two government workers to talk to you.
Jeb Bush held a town hall Saturday in a Virginia pizza parlor as Republicans tried to connect with real Americans. Thus the pizza. Pollsters advised that to connect with regular Americans, they need to gain 40 pounds each.
Mexico on Sunday protested when China quarantined Mexican tourists inside a Hong Kong hotel where one had the flu. Epidemiologists called it an example of what can be done when you don’t have to worry about the Hispanic vote.
President Obama told reporters Saturday he will consider nominees to replace retiring Supreme Court Justice David Souter (right) as much for their empathy as for their legal experience. He wants a woman of color who has empathy for real people and experience as a judge. But how’s he going to get Paula Adbul through the Senate confirmation process?
The White House began vetting possible Supreme Court nominees Friday. Officials expect to find a justice by October, but that may be optimistic. It took three months to find a hypoallergenic dog that is paid up on its taxes.
Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. E-mail: argus@argushamilton.com