Tucson CitizenTucson Citizen

Romance 101

Citizen Staff Writer
Cover story: Valentine’s Day



Whether you’re looking for ways to enhance your already-great love life or spark a new one, there are plenty of options to surprise that special someone this Valentine’s Day – or any day, for that matter.

Sarah Jane Wilson, romance consultant and manager at “romance superstore” Fascinations, offers these tips to stoke those burned-out flames this V Day:

Write a love letter

In this day and age, the ancient art of handwriting is nearly obsolete. Fortunately, this scarcity makes the gesture all the more romantic. Forget e-mail, text messaging, instant messaging, Twittering, Meebo-ing, Facebook chatting or any of the other countless ways to technologically hook up. Instead, do some hand exercises to avoid cramping, then pick up a pencil and a sheet of paper, and write all of the beautiful and lovely things you think about your lover – and don’t hold back!

“Words can be a really free gift that you can use year round. You don’t have to buy a huge gift; just words alone are super arousing.”

That’s right, arousing. Consider throwing a little spice into the mix, Wilson recommends.

“Put on a sexy outfit, maybe that will get you in the mood to bring out your sexy side. Put a movie on, get your music going. Maybe even start to play. That will get your (creative) juices flowin’ for sure.”

Whether you’re going for the home run or wanting to pour your innermost feeling onto paper, a love letter is a gift that your companion will cherish for years to come.

Hide love notes

This is another example of a small gesture that can yield huge results. Next time your significant other is out of the house, write a bunch of little love notes and hide them all around.

“Hiding notes in a shoe or writing heart-shaped notes and putting them in the cupboard is so much fun,” Wilson says. “These little surprises help you find out why you fell in love with the person in the first place.”

The next time your mate groggily stumbles into the kitchen for a cup of coffee, your better half will instead begin the day with an overflowing cup of love. Or, if you’re looking for even more of a pick-me-up, these little notes can also be used to get your partner in the “mood.” While the love letter and the notes are great for both sexes, women might find these more endearing and perhaps even a little exciting.

“Girls eat this up,” Wilson says. “Guys are more visual creatures. Females are more written and verbal creatures.”


In the visual department, nothing says, “Let’s take our clothes off,” like sexy lingerie. This can also be a great gift for Valentine’s Day – or an equally devastating gift. Imagine your woman’s displeasure when she finds out that you have grossly underestimated her size and she can’t possibly fit into that sexy number you bought her. To avoid this V-Day disaster, Wilson has some helpful hints for men thinking of lingerie shopping.

First – and most important – ask for assistance.

“I love when guys come in and ask for help because (lingerie shopping) is difficult,” Wilson says. “I always tell guys to look for something with a little stretch just to be on the safe side so they won’t get yelled at.”

If this doesn’t put your mind at ease, pasties and tieable thongs can never be too small, Wilson suggests.

Women may also be pleased to know that they, too, can join in the fun of lingerie shopping. Wilson points out an item she refers to as “manties.” Use your imagination.

Read a book

While this may seem like a scholarly way to approach the down-and-dirty, books can effectively add a whole other dimension to your love life. Getting educated on talking dirty or learning new and exciting sexual positions is a great way to revitalize your love life.

“Kama Sutra and Tantra are very good practices of delaying the sex and tapping into those really deep feelings of knowing yourself and knowing each other,” Wilson says. “You can get so much pleasure out of feeling comfortable with one another rather than just getting to bang bang.”

Wilson adds, “I definitely recommend couples to pick up a Kama Sutra book and just thumb through it with each other and have fun with it.”


A massage is one of the best gifts you can get your partner this Valentine’s Day. Massages provide an intimate and pleasurable way to show your love and how much you care. They can also tell your love it’s time to move down south, Wilson says.

“It just flows. The sensations from rubbing the body gets you going down there and then it just ends in a really good time, good massage, good sex, good everything.”

To enhance the experience, massage oils, candles and rose petals can be thrown into the mix.


For some couples, restraints may be the key to liberating a locked-up love life. Wilson recommends the “Honeymoon Bondage Kit.”

“Everything is white and satin but you still get the cuffs, the eye mask, even a candle for dripping. It’s not whips and chains right off the bat, just something to ease into.”

Special treatment isn’t restricted to Feb. 14: Valentine’s Day just serves as a wake-up call to those sleep-walking through the rest of the year.

“Whether you’ve been dating for a year or you’re married, whatever the case may be,” Wilson says, “you can still find out a lot about your partner to keep it fun and not boring.”


Fascinations’ hours are: 8 a.m.-1 a.m. Mondays-Thursdays, 8 a.m.-2 a.m. Fridays-Saturdays and noon-midnight Sundays.

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